Chapter 3: The System of Sexual Moderation, "Once in Ten Days, an Embrace," in Pre-Qin Period

Section 1: General Discourse on Pre-Qin Sexual Arts

"Once in ten days, an embrace" relates to the Pre-Qin system of sexual moderation, a somewhat hidden but extremely important aspect of Pre-Qin ritual institutions.

The sexual arts of the Pre-Qin period were not the licentious techniques of later ages, but a serious field of study concerning health preservation, procreation (eugenics), human relations, and politics. Its core principle was: How to achieve longevity, produce superior offspring, and maintain family ethical order through the rational arrangement of the frequency, timing, and conditions of conjugal union.

Among the Pre-Qin philosophers, many discussed the moderation of sexual relations.

The Guanzi, "Inner Cultivation" (Neiye 内业), states:

"When a person is born, Heaven produces his essence, and Earth produces his form; these combine to form the human. Harmony leads to birth; disharmony does not lead to birth." (Guanzi 管子·内业)

This means human life comes from the combination and harmony of heavenly essence and earthly form. Conjugal union is the concrete act of Yin and Yang harmonizing. However, "harmony" has its measure: excess leads to disharmony, and insufficiency also leads to disharmony. Thus, moderation must be established to regulate it.

The Guanzi, "Inner Cultivation," further states:

"As for the Way of eating, excessive fullness damages the form, and it cannot be nourished; extreme restraint dries the bones and coagulates the blood. Between fullness and restraint lies what is called complete harmony. Essence is preserved and naturally generated, and its exterior is safely flourishing. Internal storage becomes the springhead; vast and peaceful, it becomes the abyss of qi. If the abyss does not dry up, the four limbs are solidified. If the spring does not run dry, the nine orifices are unobstructed. Then one can exhaust Heaven and Earth and cover the Four Seas. If the interior is without confused thought, and the exterior free from external disasters, one avoids heavenly calamities and human harm; this is called the sage."

Although this passage discusses the Way of eating, the principle that "Between fullness and restraint lies what is called complete harmony" can be fully extended to sexual matters. "Excessive fullness"—uncontrolled indulgence—damages essence and qi; "extreme restraint"—total abstinence—leads to stagnation of qi and blood. Only by achieving balance "between fullness and restraint" can "complete harmony" be attained.

"Once in ten days, an embrace" is precisely the quantifiable standard for this "between fullness and restraint."

Section 2: The Son of Heaven's Conjugal Visits and "Once in Ten Days, an Embrace"

The Son of Heaven in the Pre-Qin period had one Queen, three Ladies, Nine Consorts, twenty-seven Imperial Wives, and eighty-one attendant wives, totaling 121 women. This number was not arbitrary but closely related to astronomical calendars and the numbers of Yin-Yang.

The Rites of Zhou, "Chapter on the Officials of Heaven" (天官·九嫔), states:

"The Nine Consorts manage the laws of women’s education, teaching the Nine Attendants..." (Zhouli 周礼·天官·九嫔)

The sequence of the Son of Heaven's visits was strictly regulated.

The Book of Rites, "Inner Regulations," offers a glimpse:

"The eighty-one attendant women are embraced over nine evenings. The twenty-seven Imperial Wives over three evenings. The Nine Consorts for one evening. The Three Ladies for one evening. The Queen for one evening. This completes a cycle in fifteen days. From the New Moon onward, the order reverses." (Liji 礼记·内则)

This passage describes the sequence of imperial visits: 81 attendant women distributed over nine nights (nine women per night); 27 Imperial Wives over three nights (nine women per night); 9 Consorts for one evening; 3 Ladies for one evening; and the Queen for one evening. This covers a full cycle in fifteen days, from the New Moon (1st day) to the Full Moon (15th day). The order then reverses from the Full Moon to the End of the Month (30th day). Within one month, two full cycles are completed.

However, this must be carefully scrutinized. While the numbers are neat and aesthetically pleasing, were they strictly followed in practice$21 Later commentators had much discussion on this.

The key point is this: the purpose of this visitation schedule involves not only personal desire but also the great plan of ancestral temple rites—ensuring succession is the foremost objective. Thus, the frequency is relatively high.

The standard of "Once in ten days, an embrace" is more likely intended for the general class of scholar-officials. The system for the Son of Heaven differs from that for scholar-officials and should not be conflated.

The Son of Heaven’s visits had political goals: to broaden the ranks of the inner court to produce more heirs and ensure the continuity of the ancestral line; hence, the frequency was high.

The visits of scholar-officials were aimed at health preservation and procreation. Their number of wives and concubines was far fewer than the Son of Heaven’s, so frequent visits were unnecessary. "Once in ten days, an embrace," as the routine standard for scholar-officials, strikes a balance between nourishing life and producing offspring, making it a reasonable design.

Section 3: The Relationship Between Age and Frequency of Visits

Pre-Qin sexual moderation placed great emphasis on age. Human essence and qi decline with age, so the frequency of visits must also decrease with age.

Based on the spirit of Pre-Qin ritual institutions and the compilations of Han scholars, the relationship between frequency of visits and age is roughly as follows:

At twenty, one is strong and vigorous but not yet married; At thirty, one establishes a household ("having a household" means being married), possessing full vitality, visits can be frequent; At forty, established in service, the body gradually declines, moderation is required; At fifty, realizing the mandate of Heaven, essence and qi have declined, frequency must be greatly reduced; At sixty, the ears obey, one conserves essence and nourishes qi; At seventy, one retires from service, enjoying longevity.

The Book of Rites, "Inner Regulations," states:

"At fifty, one begins to decline; at sixty, one is not satisfied without meat; at seventy, one is not warm without silk; at eighty, one is not warm without a person." (Liji 礼记·内则)

This passage discusses needs for food and clothing, but can be extended analogously to sexual matters. "At fifty, one begins to decline"—vitality starts to wane. At this point, the frequency of visits should be greatly reduced.

Confucius, in the Analects, "For Governance" (为政), narrates his own progress:

"At thirty, I stood firm; at forty, I had no doubts; at fifty, I knew the mandate of Heaven; at sixty, my ears were obedient; at seventy, I could follow my heart’s desire without overstepping the line." (Analects 论语·为政)

Though this discusses stages of scholarly cultivation, it also reflects the ancients' profound understanding of different life stages. After fifty, one should "know the mandate of Heaven"—recognizing the finiteness of life and conforming to natural laws, not striving excessively. Matters of conjugal visits should be treated the same way.

"Once in ten days, an embrace" might be the standard after fifty. At thirty, being vigorous, perhaps five days for an embrace (the "five-day embrace"); at forty, perhaps seven days; at fifty, then ten days. Although these specific age breakdowns are not explicitly stated in Pre-Qin texts (which lack such detailed tables), inferring from the two known figures, "five-day embrace" and "ten-day embrace," suggests Pre-Qin indeed possessed a system of decreasing frequency centered on age.

Section 4: Relationship Between Season and Frequency of Visits

The unified reading of "Frost descends, women are wed; ice thaws, cessation kills; once in ten days, an embrace" suggests that the frequency of visits is also related to the seasons.

The placement of "once in ten days, an embrace" after "Frost descends, women are wed; ice thaws, cessation kills" perhaps implies: within the marriage season (from Frost's Descent to the Thawing of Ice), the marital moderation standard is once every ten days.

Why specifically ten days during this season$22

In winter, Yin energy is dominant, and Yang energy is concealed. Human Yang energy should also be conserved and not dissipate excessively. Each visit results in a dissipation of Yang energy, so the frequency of visits should be reduced in winter to preserve Yang qi.

The Guanzi, "The Four Seasons" (四时), states:

"Therefore, Yin and Yang are the great principle of Heaven and Earth. The Four Seasons are the great constant of Yin and Yang. Punishment and Virtue are the harmonization of the Four Seasons. If Punishment and Virtue harmonize with the seasons, fortune is generated; if they deviate, disaster follows." (Guanzi 管子·四时)

It also states:

"In winter, things wither and fall; all things hide. If rewards and punishments lack credibility, the people are lost. Heaven and Earth close off and do not communicate."

In winter, Heaven and Earth close off, and all things hide. Humans should emulate the closing off of Heaven and Earth by reducing dissipation. Conjugal visits are a major means of dissipating vital essence (jing 精), so a standard of ten days for one visit in winter aligns perfectly with the Dao of concealment.

Conversely, if we ask: What is the frequency in spring and summer$23

By inference from the "ice thaws, cessation kills" rule, after the ice thaws in mid-spring, couples should stop cohabiting. But does this "stop" mean complete prohibition$24 Or just stopping new weddings and not daily visits between already married couples$25

A close reading suggests that "cessation kills" (shā zhǐ) means a gradual reduction and final cessation—referring to the act of new marriage—it is the wedding season that stops. As for the daily visits of established couples, this might not fall under the prohibition of "cessation kills."

However, even married couples should exercise restraint after mid-spring. The passage cited earlier from the Book of Rites, "Monthly Ordinances," regarding mid-spring—"Three days before the thunder is to sound, the wooden mud-drum is shaken to announce in the thoroughfares"—clearly warns: after the thunder sounds, one must "restrain their appearance and repose," otherwise "the birth of sons will not be complete, and there will surely be disaster." This is a solemn warning against cohabitation in spring and summer.

Therefore, the Pre-Qin system of sexual moderation is closely linked to the seasons:

Autumn/Winter (Frost's Descent to Thawing of Ice): The season for marriage, visits are moderated, once every ten days.
Mid-Spring (Thawing of Ice, around the sounding of thunder): Should be greatly reduced or temporarily stopped.
Summer: Should be moderated to nourish Yang qi.

This set of visitation standards, ordered by the seasons as the warp, interwoven with the frequency reduction system based on age as the weft, constitutes the complete network of Pre-Qin sexual moderation.

Section 5: "Once in Ten Days, an Embrace" and the Concept of Xún (旬)

The calendar of the Pre-Qin period used ten days as a basic unit, a xún (旬). Within a xún, days were counted by the Heavenly Stems: Jia Day, Yi Day, Bing Day... Ren Day, Gui Day. Oracle bone inscriptions from the Shang Dynasty already contain records based on the xún as the fundamental time unit.

The Book of Documents, "The Reign of Yao" (尧典), states:

"A full year comprises three hundred and sixty cycles of ten days plus six days, adjusted by an intercalary month to complete the four seasons and a year." (Shangshu 尚书·尧典)

This means a year of 366 days. A xún is ten days. A year has approximately thirty-six full xúns plus some remainder.

"Once in ten days, an embrace" means "once per xún." This uses the xún as the cycle for conjugal visits, perfectly aligning with the daily time unit used in the Pre-Qin period.

Oracle bone inscriptions from Yinxu contain numerous inquiries based on the xún cycle. Every time the Shang King approached the end (Gui Day) or beginning (Jia Day) of a xún, he would divine the fortune of the next xún. This shows that the xún was already a vital time unit in the Shang Dynasty.

The use of the xún as a cycle for "once in ten days, an embrace" might relate to Shang ritual survivals. The Shang people counted days by Heavenly Stems, and ten days constituted a complete cycle. Choosing one day within each xún for a visit accords with the rhythm of the Heavenly Stems' revolution.

As for which specific day within the ten to choose, the Pre-Qin period might have had preferences. Certain days were "strong days" (Yang), and others were "soft days" (Yin). Which day was chosen for a visit$26

The Book of Rites, "General Rules of Propriety, Book I" (Qulishang 曲礼上), states:

"External affairs follow strong days; internal affairs follow soft days." (Liji 礼记·曲礼上)

Marriage visits are considered "internal affairs" and should follow soft days. The Yin Stems—Yi, Ding, Ji, Xin, Gui—are soft stems, corresponding to soft days. Among ten days, there are five soft days; choosing one of them for a visit perfectly fits the standard of "once in ten days, an embrace."

Although this is an inference, it is logically plausible and can be offered for consideration.