An Analysis of the Structure, Ethics, and Ontology of the 'Jia Ren' Hexagram in the Zhou Yi

Section 3: The Eternal Tension Between "Emotion" ($\text{qíng}$, 情) and "Ritual" ($\text{lǐ}$, 礼) in the Family

Within the principles of the Jia Ren hexagram, there exists an eternal tension: the tension between emotion and rules.

Line 9 in the Third, "The Family utters harsh sounds" ($\text{hè hè}$), represents the rule aspect—sternness, discipline, restraint. "Wife and children laugh merrily" ($\text{xī xī}$) represents the emotional aspect—relaxation, intimacy, freedom. The judgment of the Jia Ren hexagram is that "harsh sounds" is preferable to "merriment"—but this does not mean that rules can eliminate emotion.

True Family Way is the unity of "emotion" and "ritual." If there is only "emotion" without "ritual" (rules, order), emotion degenerates into indulgence, permissiveness, and partiality. Conversely, if there is only "ritual" without "emotion," the family becomes a cold machine of rules, losing warmth and vitality.

Confucius stated (in Lun Yu, Yang Huo):

"Zai Wo asked: 'The three years of mourning is long enough! If a noble person does not observe the rites for three years, the rites will surely be ruined; if he does not observe music for three years, the music will surely collapse. Once the old grain has been consumed, and the new grain has been harvested, one can change the fire source (tinderbox). A year should be enough.' The Master said: 'Can you eat rice and wear silk fabrics comfortably$6' 'I can,' replied Zai Wo. 'If you can be comfortable, then do it! The noble person, while in mourning, does not find savory food palatable, finds no pleasure in music, and is uneasy in his dwelling; that is why he does not do otherwise. Since you are comfortable, then do it!' Zai Wo went out. The Master said: 'Zai Wo is unfeeling! For three years after a child is born, he is not separated from his parents' embrace. The three years of mourning is the universal mourning period for all under Heaven. Does Zai Wo have three years of love for his parents$7'"

This exchange is profound. Zai Wo felt the three years of mourning were too long and suggested one year. Confucius's response was not to cite classics or appeal to authority, but to appeal to emotion: "Can you be comfortable doing so$8"—"I can." Then do it!

But the Master's subsequent comment reveals the essence of the issue: "For a child born, after three years he is separated from his parents' embrace." The three years of mourning correspond to the three years parents nurture the child. If Zai Wo is unwilling to observe these three years of mourning, where is his three years of love for his parents$9

This dialogue perfectly illustrates the dialectic between "emotion" and "ritual": The three years of mourning is "ritual," but its foundation is "emotion"—the genuine feeling of gratitude for the parents' nurturing love over three years. If there is true feeling, observing ritual is not arduous; if there is no true feeling, ritual becomes an empty shell.

The ideal state of the Jia Ren hexagram is the perfect unity of "emotion" and "ritual": establishing appropriate rules based on sincere emotion, so that the rules become the natural expression of emotion rather than its suppression.